Zombie Awareness Week

Can you match the song lyric to the band?

1. “There's only one sure way to bring the giant down. Defunct the strings of cemetery things with one flat foot on the devil's wing.”

2. “And the violence caused such silence…”

3. “Traveling in a fried out Kombi on a hippie trail head full of Zombie. I met a strange lady she made me nervous, she took me in and gave me breakfast.” *this is my fave!!

4. “I'm a zombie in the moonlight. I'm sleepin' when it's daylight. I really should be alright, but I'm feelin' kinda uptight.”

5. "I wanna be a fucking prize winning drag queen with the platform boots and the tombstone looks. I want the whole world to hate me with the bolts on my neck and the gun in my dress. Tonight I’m the prettiest zombie alive.”

6. “I Zombie cancer raging. I Zombie fascinating. I Zombie crucify. I Zombie do not die.”

7. "My little sister is a Zombie in a body with no soul in a role she has learned to playin a world today where nothing else matters…"

8. "All you zombies hide your faces..."


A. Murderdolls

B. White Zombie

C. Rob Zombie

D. Jewel

E. Roxette

F. Men At Work

G. Hooters

Zombie Awareness Week

As the Halloween season is upon us, there is no better time than now to raise awareness and educate the public about the deadly menace know as: Zombies.

What exactly are Zombies?

A Zombie is an undead person. A living dead. Or, alternatively, a life-impaired.

How to Identify a Zombie:

How are Zombies created or how does one become a Zombie?

There are two ways to become a Zombie:

1. A bokor, the Haitian word for sorcerer, captures a victim's ti bon ange, or the part of the soul directly connected to an individual, to create a zombie. This is usually done with Zombie Powder. Zombie Powder is a complex mixture that includes, but is not limited to, tetrodotoxin (found in Puffer fish), Marine Toad, Tree Frog, and human remains.

A law condemning zombie creation went into effect in Haiti in 1835 [ref]. Article 246 of the Haitian Penal Code classifies the administration of a substance that creates a prolonged period of lethargy without causing death as attempted murder. If the substance causes the appearance of death and results in the burial of the victim, the act is classified as murder.
ref: “How Zombies Work” http://science.howstuffworks.com/zombie.htm

2. During a Zombie encounter, a bite wound is inflicted. This is a good news/bad news situation—Good news—he didn’t get your brain. Bad news—you have 30 seconds to 1 month before you too are Living Impaired and in search of human brain food stuffs. So, you've been bitten. That weird guy in the trench coat at the bus stop bit a lot of people before he staggered onto the bus.The big question is, is it a Zombie bite?

There are no laws currently protecting the public from Zombie Bites.

What is being done to protect us against the threat of Zombies?

Fight the Bite!

Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency
http://www.fvza.org/zombies.html

National Center for Reanimation Prevention and Control
http://michael.tresca.net/ncrpchome.html

Elite Zombie Hunting Squad
http://www.zombiehunters.org/

What can I do to protect myself against Zombies?

Over the course of the week, you will learn more about the threat of Zombies and how to protect yourself against a Zombie Invasion. In the event you encounter a Zombie before you are fully prepared—employ the following methods of protection:

FAQ:

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed during Zombie Awareness Week are not necessarily those of the author, Brooke Taylor, and should not be used as evidence of her political position in the ongoing Zombie v Unicorn debate.

Disclaimer: It is not the intention of the Zombie Awareness Week to provide specific medical advice, but rather to provide the public with information to better understand their health and their diagnosed disorders. You are urged to consult with a qualified physician for diagnosis and for answers to your personal questions.

Think Hard

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.

~Dutch Proverb~

Crush Hard

It's Friday... I'm in LOVE!

.... w/ 80's Rock Stars. Yep, I was in love with these guys (Jon Bon Jovi, Bono, John Taylor/Duran Duran) then, and they've still go it now. (Okay, so Bono sometimes looks like he is a few grey hairs away from being Robin Williams, but work with me!)

In other news, a sneak peak at my favorite week of the year--Halloween Week!!! Here at Blog Hard we will be interrupting our normal programming for a special segment. To give you a hint and to keep with our 80's rocker theme, I present you with the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U3rO0GbEhI

Enjoy!

Rock Hard

"Is this what you are? Some sweet violent urge..."

(Fallen)

Great live versions of 30 Seconds to Mars faves:

Bio Hazards

One of the things people ask of a newly published author is to provide a bio. This seems so simple and easy, but alas it is not. First off there are many different types and sizes of bios. (Did you know that?) And no one actually tells you what size or type of bio they want—they just say “send me your bio.”

Now as an unpublished author with little to no publishing experience, I thought a bio was what I usually find at the back of a book beneath the author photo: “Brooke Taylor lives and writes from her home in the Midwest, where her many pets are a contestant but happy distraction.” Or my ex-boss from the cruise ship days would have (if he ever wrote that book he claimed to always be writing): “No wife, no kids, no pets, no plants.”

So anyway, in the midst of editor interest on my MS, my agent requested a bio. I asked her how long she wanted it and she said—just send me everything and I’ll cut it down if I need to.

So, my newbie mind went to those long rambling bios I’d seen on many an author’s website. You know the ones--they start from birth and don’t leave out a single year. These are even more amusing because they read like an unofficial biography because of the 3rd person.

***caution abrupt POV shift coming***

Brooke Taylor finds it quite humorous to write about herself in the 3rd person.

***Returning to regular POV programming***

I sent her one going on and on about the exciting adventures I've had in my life, blah blah. She wrote back "This won’t do, it's like you live in a void."

IN A VOID???

I was shocked. Confused. Angry. I most certainly did not live in a void! She went on to explain (while I caught my breath and took the needles out of the voodoo doll) that I needed to show my ties to the publishing industry (I’m paraphrasing here, and probably getting it wrong—but this is what I took from her comments). See, the job of the bio she needed was to let the publisher know I was a serious writer. I mean sure, it is neat that I've jumped out of an airplane over New Zealand:




But it would be neater if I did it with Michael L. Printz Winner John Green. (In the interest of full disclosure, I was going to say J.K. Rowling—but every author and his sister are doing the Harry Potter reference.)

Anyway, enough about Brooke Taylor—check out Teri Brown’s spoof on the bio and re-write Jill Monroe’s bio and win cool prizes!

Live Free, Think Hard

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king"



~Irish Proverb